Hello to all the good folks out there! Hope ya’ll all had a wonderful christmas and didn’t over celebrate the New Year. Me and my boy Enis, we had us a wonderful time! Seems that Enis has gone and found himself a new group of friends and he brought them nice young folks over for Christmas dinner. An odd bunch, they are. Cold as the dickens outside and they all drove up riding motorsickles. They was all wearing black leather jackets and gloves. Some of them young men had hair braided up that was longer than most women’s hair. But they was a nice bunch, real polite and fun to have around.

For Christmas dinner, Enis near ’bout bought out the local grocery store. We had us glazed hams, fried turkeys, roasted ducks and all the trimmings you could imagine! Enis even got some of them little bitty weinies in barbeque sauce to snack on while we waited for all the other goodies to finish cooking. Just as we was finishing up our wonderful dinner, them darn petards showed up again. I just don’t understand why they won’t let folks be. There we were, minding our own business, eatin’ our delicious food and having a grand ole’ time when those scrawny little nerds, that’s what Enis calls ‘em, started yelling and screaming that we was murderers and some such nonsense, throwing rolls of toilet paper all over in the yard and breaking my windows with rocks!

Well, Enis’s new friends are big healthy boys ’cause they eat meat, just like my Enis. That’s my boy in that picture. Just look how big and healthy he is! Well, they marched outside to run the petards off. When them boys got outside, the nerds got real scared and started yelling “bikers! bikers!” and tried to run off down the street. Enis and his new friends jumped on them there motorsickles and took off after those bad little people. Why, they looked like they seen a ghost or something, the way they took off runnin’. I don’t really know what a biker is, but them petards sure were scared of them!

It wasn’t long ’till I heard them motorsickles roaring back up to the house. It was the darnest sight I ever seed. There was a petard strapped to the back of each motorsickle. All them skinny little fellows looked white as a sheet. They sure do need to get some red meat in their bellies and plenty of sunshine. Well, once they was all back in the yard, Enis’s new friends made them scoundrels clean up every bit of paper and glass there was. Then they made ‘em rake the leaves up and burn the piles. After that, one big burly fellow had ‘em empty their pockets of all the money they had. That nice young man gave it all to me to pay for my broken windows. Before they let the petards go, they had my windows taped up so the cold air didn’t come inside. Why, they even washed my car! Then the bikers let ‘em go. I never seen people run away so fast.

After all the commotion had settled down, everyone came back inside for dessert. Enis explained that his friends are called bikers ’cause they ride them motorsickles and petards are scared to death of them. Seems that nasty ole Ingrid and her nasty people is always tormenting ladies in fur coats ’cause they don’t fight back. Ain’t ladylike to fight, mind you. Since those sweet ladies won’t fight back, peta just keeps picking on them. But peta don’t mess with bikers ’cause them biker people will whup up on them! They don’t start no fights but they don’t let ugly people push them around neither.

I hope Enis brings his new friends around more often. They sure was alot of fun to have around. Now, thanks to them, I don’t have to rake my yard this winter!

©SharonSoileau2009

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There is, and always will be, much debate over which racehorse is the greatest of all time. Each generation brings a new star onto the racing scene and each decade is represented by a superstar. There have been numerous great horses such as Man O’ War, John Henry, Ruffian, Cigar, Citation, Secretariat, Seattle Slew, Pan Zareta, Phar Lap, Miesque, Forego; the list goes on forever.

Several horses have managed numerous consecutive wins like the awesome Pepper’s Pride from New Mexico, Hallowed Dreams from Louisiana, Cigar, Citation, Personal Ensign, and the fabulous Zenyatta. Other greats are revered for their great contests against a certain rival, like Affirmed and Alydar, Sunday Silence and Easy Goer. Everyone has their favorites and every great horse has his or her own unique qualities, running styles and accomplishments.

But who is the greatest filly to ever set foot on the racetrack? Ruffian was a brilliant filly in her time and unfortunately unable to prove just how great she really was. Genuine Risk and Winning Colors both dominated the males with wins in the Kentucky Derby. Pan Zareta is, in my opinion, one of the greatest. She never won any major stakes races, maybe because her connections did not think enough of her to try her at the upper levels. This little red mare from Texas accomplished some amazing feats in her short life. Often running for purses of $300.00, she amassed a bankroll of  $39,082.00. She competed across the country. Her travels took her to Mexico, Texas, Montana, Idaho, Canada, Kentucky, Louisiana, Arkansas and New York. She won regularly, despite being made to carry weights of 136, 140 and 146 pounds. During her few losses, she conceded as much as 44 pounds to her rivals. Not only could she carry weight, she could do it swiftly. In her 5 year career, she set or equalled 11 track records, twice equalled the American record of 1:04.3 for 5 1/2 furlongs and set a world record for 5 furlongs, blazing the track in 57.1.  Despite travelling from one end of the country to the other and carrying impossible weights, Pan Zareta won 76 of 151 starts with 31 seconds and 21 thirds. This true iron horse sadly perished on Christmas Day, 1918 from pneumonia at the age of 8 while stabled at the Fair Grounds in New Orleans and was buried in the infield.

Another outstanding filly was the Hungarian Kinscem, who made 54 starts from 1876 – 1879 and winning ALL of them. Unlike Pan Zareta, this fabulous filly’s career was handled with care and dignity. She competed in stakes races of all levels and made 54 starts in 4 seasons of racing, while Pan Zareta made 151 starts in 5 seasons. Just like Pan Zareta, Kinscem was assigned outrageous posts of weight. Toward the end of her career, Kinscem often carried 150 pounds, or more, and twice won at distances of 12 and 16 furlongs by open daylight carrying 160 pounds.

Today there is Zenyatta and Rachel Alexandra. Who deserves to be Horse Of The Year? Both fillies are super athletes in their own right. Zenyatta completed her 5 year career on the race track in perfect fashion winning the Breeder’s Cup Classic against males while keeping her win streak perfect at 14 for 14. Rachel Alexandra, just a baby at three years old, competed against, and defeated, older males in the Grade 1 Woodward Stakes, which was her 11th start in as many months. Rachel’s record of 11 wins in 14 starts isn’t as flashy as Zenyatta’s perfect 14, but she accomplished this while competing at eight different racetracks. Zenyatta won 13 of her races, including the Breeder’s Cup, in her home state of California. While both fillies have stunned the world with their abilities and super powers, I feel like Rachel Alexandra should be crowned Horse Of  The Year because she has accomplised basically the same thing as Zenyatta but travelled extensively to do it while Zenyatta stayed at home. Also, Zenyatta is an older horse at 5 years old and Rachel is only three.

The greatest female of all time? While nothing can be taken away from the current superstars and brilliant fillies of the past, Pan Zareta has to be the greatest filly to ever compete. A gruelling schedule, massive loads of weight and criss-crossing the country, she still managed to win time and again, showing the true heart and grit of the classic Thoroughbred.

©SharonSoileau2009

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Hey Everybody! Old Enid here. I just wanted to drop in and wish everyone a happy holiday season and tell you about the wonderful Thanksgiving we had here in Sausage Hollow.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year, espescially since I came to my senses and quit listening to those Petards. Oh, the food is so good. I swear if you stand outside and inhale a deep breath you can just smell all the women of the world cooking up that savory meat. Old Enid is a pretty good cook herself, and I stayed up all night long getting ready for our Thanksgiving feast.

Enis showed up about 9:00 on Thanksgiving morning in his old Chevy truck. I knew it was him on account of how the thing farted and coughed all the way up the drive. He had the window down and was singing at the top of his lungs. See, we start getting ready for Christmas on Thanksgiving and Enis loves them Christmas carols. He likes to change the words up sometimes. The song he was a singing this morning was to the tune of Deck The Halls and went something like this:

Load the grill with fatty meat. Put it on a bun and EAT, EAT, EAT!

Oh that boy is something else. Now, I had told him to pick up a Turkey the day before. Ya’ll know that Enis is a little bit slow, so it should come as no surprise that right there in the back of his truck was a big old cage with a tarp over it. The thing under that tarp was making a lot of noise and didn’t seem too happy. Enis told me he traded an old chainsaw and two used tires for a big Tom Turkey. I just shook my head and went in search of my butcherin’ tools.

Now about that time I heard another vehicle coming down our road and almost fainted when I saw who it was. It was a van full of them PETA fanatics. Apparently they was somewhat disturbed by old Enid’s blog posts and decided to take matters into their own hands. Here they come with a big speaker on top of that van and shouting out:

“STOP! GIVE US THE BIRD!”

Well, I believe even Petards deserve a little courtesy so I did just like they asked and flipped ‘em off with both hands. Enis saw me and did it too. It must’ve made them mad ’cause they did what they always do when they get their panties in a wad about something. They came a barrelling off that van as nekkid as a flock of jaybirds. By the looks of ‘em I’d say it must have been about 40 degrees outside, ’cause the fellows was suffering from major shrinkage.

Well, I commenced to giving these lunatics hell. All this time Enis was fiddling with the tarp over the cage in his truck and just about then he got it undone. I was just about to go inside for my shotgun when I heard Enis scream. When he jerked that tarp the edge of it caught on the front of the cage and opened the door. That’s when Enis found out he’d been swindled ’cause the thing in that cage wasn’t no Tom Turkey. Not by a long shot. The thing in that cage was a half-crazed gander. For those of you who don’t know that’s a male goose. He lit off right in the direction of the Petards.

The old gander was mad as hell. He ran through Ingrid’s kids like they was bowling pins. Two of ‘em got bit in the butt. One of them tried to jump over the gander but someone should have told him it’s a good idea to wear clothes when you try to jump a gander. The gander dropped his head as the Petard sailed over and then took aim right at those shrunken marbles between his legs. I swear the whole town of Sausage Hollow heard that boy scream!

They all finally made it to their van and hightailed it out of there. Me and Enis laughed so hard and enjoyed it so much that we couldn’t bring ourselves to kill the old gander after the service he done us. So, we loaded him up in Enis’ truck and the three of us went to Foo Yang’s Chinese Restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner, the only place open. I had about seven different kinds of meat dishes. Yum Yum!

I hope all of you had a good Thanksgiving and wish you a very Merry Christmas!

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